Aye, sea turtles!

High Rope Challenge.. What goes up, must come down..

Today is HRC.. High Rope Challenge.. woke up at 5.30, went school to bus to changi to take bumboat.. we all super high.. after all, it is one of the last few outings together as a squad for us the sec 4s.. the mood was great.. walk all the way to npcc campsite, while others take van.. lol..

reach le.. got short briefing, then.. off we go.. starting everything off, was flying fox.. which was once singapore's tallest zipline.. and well.. waited very long for my turn.. whats best is that it is a double line.. means, where normal ziplines only 1 person a time, this one have pair one.. xD paired with jiajun.. both of us damn enthusiastic about it.. when is our turn, we run all the way to the tower, and climb.. so high..

run up le, panting, and damn it was high.. which was pretty scary at first.. when the instructor clip me onto the glider, it seem to kept pulling me down.. xD.. i was totally trembling.. when we go down, it was only a short drop, and a fast fly to the other side.. which all i could feel, was the wind blowing in my face.. and the pain of the harness on my leg.. lol.. finish lerh, it was not scary, but my leg was trembling..

next was being ladderman.. well.. i was slacking.. moving the ladder for the Adventure Rope Challenge, was boring.. kept thinking when is our turn to play.. face abit sunburnt liao.. after that, was lunch.. finally realised what kind of big eaters our squad was.. we were all in high spirits.. after lunch, slack about, then went for ARC again.. finally our turn.. got 2 ways to go.. one is the balance course, the other is the strength course.. since Jacky took 15mins to fail the strength course, and challenged me to do it, of coz i go do it.. STUPID ME.. lol strength course really strength course..

first part.. was some rings, which we had to hold onto.. and some small planks that can only fit one feet.. at first, i was pretty ok.. go quite well.. no problems.. only hand pretty shaky.. then one part where there is a big plank to move to, MY LEG CANNOT REACH!! my leg too short.. waste alot of strength hanging on, and trying to reach.. finally reach lerh very reliefed.. but hand no strength lerh.. continue the next one, my hand suddenly went numb.. omg!! i was hanging on desperately.. everyone was telling me to pull myself up.. which was pretty impossible at the point of time..

my arms gave way.. omg.. fell.. then, they used the rescue ladder to pull me to continue the second part.. well.. my arms were numb when i reached the checkpoint.. next one.. is a horizontal shaking ladder, with one rope to use for balance.. which has no tension at all.. zzz.. almost fall alot of times.. hands numb somemore.. my god.. glad that i could finish it to the next checkpoint..

final part.. 1 thin cable, with some ropes to hang on to, where the ending part has balloons to hang on to.. finish lerh, my hand totally no strength.. rest for 1hour.. even until now, still no strength.. lolx.. next was dangling duo, which we had to go as a pair to climb a giant dangling ladder.. which too bad.. rained.. haix.. that meant the end of HRC.. haix.. wanted to try the pepper pole, which many prefer calling leap of faith/honour, coz it sounds cooler.. climb up a shakky pole, stand it the top like niinja, then jump for a horizontal bar which is damn close.. the boys keep saying, have to do at least 1 pull up.. lol.. nevermind bah.. on the way back, we damn high.. on the bus, keep talking to mr see about things regarding the unit..

haix.. had dinner at long johns.. finally.. i LOVE HRC!

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 3:41 AM,
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WOots!

yay!.. super happy!! haha.. happy.. cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste* cut* paste*

heh.. made a new friend today.. very nice sia..

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 5:17 AM,
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OOH!!

chinese new year holidays over.. no more collecting hong bao.. sobx..

sad thing.. this year dun have collect much.. coz my father's side have problem.. haix..

today.. school is as usual.. and i always feel bored no matter what.. after school.. changed and went to robin sir house to bai nian..

erm.. i bused to sengkang.. roughly 2.45 reach.. aaargh.. 4.30 is the meeting time.. , my god! walk walk look look see see.. and smsing stupid stuff to stupid people.. xP very sad i have to break my promise.. haix.. promised a girl that i will give her, her belated birthday present on valentines day.. lol i dunno why i said that.. but well.. i ask her valentines day free? she said she got cca and lessons after that.. well.. guess i will save the money for some other things bah..

met ding qi(new friend).. take lrt.. lol first time take sia.. dunno what yellow light, what red light.. supposed to take to renjong, take to ranggung.. alot of nonsense.. finally reach, then watch IP man, and eat alot of the treats.. heh..

finally home!

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 5:29 AM,
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shit..

aaaargh.. i cannot seem to get to sleep.. damn.. feeling damn troubled.. cannot seem to stop thinking even for awhile.. i cannot seem to blank out anymore.. aaargh.

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 10:15 AM,
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happy first day of lunar new year..

oh.. happy new year.. everyone has been sending those happy new year smses, which i dun really notice..lol.. been waiting for people to sms me, say that they are bored, and feel like chatting.. coz i myself am bored.. and dunno who is free, to sms.. sian..

well.. yesterday SHOU SUI, until 4am.. damn tired.. then my friends pang seh me.. go play mah jong.. sobx.. more reasons to be sad..

today, morning wake up at 10.15.. 5min from her usual wake up time, as she claims.. went to grandmother's house.. eat lunch.. this year like very boring.. coz my aunt went overseas.. so.. not much people there..

then went to my father's friend's fish farm.. well.. my sis was going crazy taking pictures.. lol.. then.. went to have fun at the fish spa free! xD go there, put leg in.. all the fish.. swarm in, and suck on my fresh juicy meat.. lol.. very itchy.. well my sis was screaming all over, and wasted 30mins, gathering her courage to put her stinking feet it..

well.. after just 30min, my feet was kinda numb from the itchy sucking.. lol.. feels great.. then went prawning, also for free.. well.. my brother did most of the job.. i just sit there and watch him.. heh.. after just 1min, got 1 prawn lerh.. 10min later have to go.. haix.. back home to prepare for dinner..

Dinner, with my faternal side was kinda ok.. lively atmosphere.. steamboat.. after that, went to play cards with my cousins.. haix.. cannot get the mood.. super sian.. chinese new year, cloth cannot wear black.. but no one said should not wear a black face.. haix..

very sian.. seems like she has made a choice.. time to reply tags..

Iman: ur juliet told me that emo good for health.. i want slim down.. :P
Melvin: No point trying.. giving up early lowers the damage later..
Wing Yan: Coz i everytime ask u question, u dun want reply.. zzz
Iman(again): cannot.. refer to first reply.. i guess i should stop deluding myself.. :P

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 6:51 AM,
0 comments

Sekaii ni hito tsu dake no hana..

Guess i should save this phrase for someone else..

well.. each day still seems like a torture..

each day, knowing you will go out with him soon..
each day, waiting for replies that will never come..
each day, waiting for my questions to be answered..
each day, asking myself.. should i be doing this..

each day is like walking through hell over and over again.. it never seems to end.. walking throught the desert..

there is this story.. about a man stranded in the desert.. all his supplies was destroyed by a sandstorm.. all he had left was a miserable apple.. but he held on to it.. clinging onto the faith that, not all is lost.. He had lost all his supplies, but he still had an apple..

with that faith, he continued on.. even when the apple was rotten, and dried.. he still continued walking.. through the desert, with one thought in mind.. " I have not lost everything.. I still have hope.. I must make it out of the desert" He did not eat the apple.. when in the end, after torturous 2 days, he finally made it to a nomad's camp.. well.. with that, the story ended..

this story was told to me by my sec2 chinese teacher.. although he is no longer here, i still remember that he was the only teacher that thought that i could make it into higher chinese with his help.. well.. although he did not inspire me to work harder on chinese, i still remember him well..

This story.. relates to how i feel.. here is an analogy.. i am all alone, stranded in a desert, and everything gone.. all i found was a beautiful desert flower, which has the same place as the apple in the story..

so.. walking halfway, the flower turned into dust.. everything seems lost.. there is no more determination to be found in my heart and soul.. there is not a single scrap of hope left in my entire being.. i am.. empty..

well.. today, is chinese new year.. i am still on my shou sui.. which is to keep up all night, to wish our parents longevity.. so far, i and my neighbours planned to stay up, playing DOTA.. lolx.. cute idea huh? well.. 2 people with me.. now left 1.. coz the other have to off comp.. so sad..

wonder if she is awake.. guess she is sleeping bah.. this wednesday.. another time to be sian.. coz she wont reply my sms even after chinese new year holidays.. guess it is the end of the road.. what am i waiting for?

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 8:05 AM,
0 comments

Why i will give up..

The reasons why i am giving up on you..

1)I know that i will lose to him..
2) i know where i stand.. i should give way..
3) whats the point of struggling when i know i will lose out..
4) Reasons that i will lose to him..

1) U seem to be happier with him around..
2) He is willing to spend money on gifts for u, while i don't..
3) u go out ever so often with him..
4) U never seem to say no to him..
5) u hide messages for him all the time.. as well as him..
6) U spend more time with him, he knows u well, u know him well..
7) I am only an acquaintance..
8) i have other priorities, set before you, while he puts u first on his list..
9) U 2 communicate so much better..
10) u r always on his mind, while i only think of you when my autophobia sets in..
11) u never seem happy with me around..
12) he remembers every action u commit, while i only remember ur words..
13) I am only a bystander..
14) on 14 feb, he will be giving u a great gift.. but i will not..

Finished..

well.. had a lousy valentines day gift in mind xD.. but got rid of the idea.. should not do so.. later i feel even worse.. i should give up.. getting a girlfriend is not my priority, unlike his, which is to successfully woo u..

my priorities for now..
1) Make up for all the promises that i broken for my friends.. if i remember any..
2) Save up money for future.. (sounds lame huh? thats y i so money-minded)
3) Studies come next..
4) CCA..
5) i prefer playing basketball.. than going out with a girl..
6) Running is good for the heart..
7) my family..
8) my life..
9) my friends..
10) Girls..

lolx.. thats the reason y i always PS girls on the bus when i see my friends.. heh.. sorry amanda..

i just realise.. whenever i see anything blurry, i twitch my nose.. its a natural reaction coz i wear specs for too long liao.. then when it droops, my vision is affected so.. i twitch my nose to get it back in place.. so.. when i take of my specs, i feel so akward.. coz i cannot stop the irresistable feeling of twitching my nose..

lol.. my specs will spoil one day man.. people sure like to hit it off me while playing basketball..

chinese new year coming lo.. many things to do.. many treats to eat, many things to collect xD, many happy reunions to see..

gotta do spring cleaning later on.. and homework.. lol.. yesterday lao yu sheng.. keep saying.. homework faster finish arh!.. hopefully i remember to do it.. lolx.. or not i am so dead..

should throw away the box that i made.. it is useless already, since i am not gonna give it to her lerh.. lol.. guess i should see the bright side of this.. no more distraction? or maybe.. i still too concentrated on playing..

i love collecting event shirts xD (random)..

how do people make themselves a devoid of feelings?

I love u more than i do to myself..

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 6:58 PM,
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lolx.. wasted so much of my time which can never be brought back..

Today, PE, play ironman.. play till want to die sia.. lolx..

after that, was cny performance, which was.. kinda sian, coz i not interested in those kind of things..

then went back to class, chem supplementary canceled.. go lao yu sheng.. lol quite nice.. although yu sheng no fish.. -.- hehs..

went for lunch, got this girl scold me fuck 5 times, and 2 times through sms.. so total, 7 times.. she must really hate me alot.. zzz

went URA.. waste time.. lols.. learnt, a lot of, useless facts.. lol

went home.. damn tired sia..

Chan Mei Xin Scolded me FUCK 7 times!! i hate her!!

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 5:06 AM,
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Why am i doing this??

I know that i am being extremely childish.. haix.. but i do not like to snatch.. i am always on the losing side.. i hate it whenever i lose.. so.. best way, dun snatch.. just give way.. yea.. thats what i am doing.. but why do i still feel wrong? its not the same anymore.. i still cannot grasp what is wrong..

i cannot feel the release.. i thought that i did the right thing.. but i am starting to give in to myself.. i am always this weak.. i cannot even keep to my own promise to myself.. do not talk to her.. but y? ii do not feel angry.. i cannot feel angry for some reason.. aaargh.. i am frustrated.. damn..

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 5:14 AM,
0 comments

i regret..

i regretted knowing u.. i regret even seeing u for the very first time.. the first time i saw you at KFC, the time i asked your friend for ut msn, the time i added you..

this is how i met you.. and well.. obviously, i regret it now.. maybe.. if i went back to time, i would change one thing.. and it was to not choose to go have lunch at KFC on that day, and ever seeing u, or noticing you..

i cannot do anything.. i wish i can forget you, but i cannot.. it has been 2 months since i told you the truth, and well, i was bent on removing all traces of u from my life..

well, seems like my resolve was never strong enough.. i guess, i am not as strong as i think i am.. i cannot bear to do it.. i cannot sleep when i think about you..

i remember all the times, i wasted smses over practically nothing, smsing nonsense wih you.. and not i really feel that it is a waste.. yea.. it is a waste.. i could have spent my time studying, like my parents wants me to do.. well, nope, all i can do is think about nonsense..

well.. it is about time it dawned on me.. it was always wishful thinking on my part, and well.. i have deluded myself so badly, i cannot recognise myself anymore..

there is no one i can share this pain along with.. the only thing that can help is for me to hid my face in the pillow, and sleep.. everything i do reminds me of u.. even going to sleep..

i remember many things u use to say.. although all is nonsense, i still remember.. although i deleted the smses.. if ur sad, sleep bah.. sleep lerh can forget everything..

yea.. i wish this can happen again.. now i know why people like to inflict cuts to themseves.. well, it distracts them from what they feel for a time being.. having being so sad, the sudden pain stops them from thinking about it, and the feeling is just ecstacy.. u cannot stop, until ur common sense comes back..

i tried, i failed.. i failed, i tried again.. well.. maybe it is time, to stop trying..

well today was running club.. started late.. haix.. but anyway, running makes me stop thinking temporarily.. and well.. seems like it is doing a great job.. guess i will be happy running... although i run damn slow, well.. it seems fun for me.. and i seem to love running with friends.. it is always a joy to do so..

why can't i stop feeling jealous??? why do i have to feel jealous over this.. i have no rights to feel jealous.. i am just someone you know.. i am only your acquantaince..

sekaii ni hito tsu dake no hana..

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 4:48 AM,
0 comments

i do not know..

was playing with cards just now.. and well. its supposed to calculate ur love life with a girl.. and well i did some..

Girl #1
Boy heart with girl, girl heart with boy, but to be together, is problem with boy's heart..

Girl #2
Boy with girl physically, boy heart with girl heart physically, but for heart and body to be together, there is some problems, and boy's heart have problem..

seems like my heart have some problem.. maybe i might die of heart attack the next day.. lol..

today, CNY deco was very happy.. slacking about, helping past cotton wool around, and singing songs off tune.. but i was only thinking of homework, and 2 people..

well.. it is very saddening.. i hate feeling like this... when they talked about it, all i could do was to cry out inside.. aaargh.. asking myelf, why? why? and why???.. all i can say is that i dun see it as clearly as i did before.. i believed it was coming to a start.. and well.. did not see the twilight coming about...

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 4:20 AM,
0 comments

You are what complete me..

When you look at me and smile, u make me feel something i have never felt for a long long time..

You have filled up the void inside me, with what i never thought i would have again..

the feeling is so great.. my heart throbs, my feet tremble, my hands feel cold, and i cannot stop thinking about you.. You have made me go crazy.. i cannot concentrate in whatever i do..

all i can do, is think about you..

The sight of you makes me feel ecstatic,

The smile on your face makes me smile inside,

Each time i see you look at me, i cannot help but wish that time would stop..

i do not know what to say...

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 4:24 AM,
0 comments

Email have problem?= Life have problem..

shucks.. my email having some problems.. cannot even open mail, or send.. haix..

Homework is piling up, tomorrow better go finish it up.. or not i seriously in deep trouble.. As usual, i am procrastinating it.. and well.. i dun feel like doing homeowrk now..

well.. was doing some lesson plans.. then i usually use my templates, coz i am so lazy to type it out.. so.. well.. i finish my first one.. saved.. i used my first template, do second one.. and well.. i pressed the diskette button, which is save.. and well.. there goes my first lesson plan.. AARGH!

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 4:32 AM,
0 comments

Wardrobe disaster!

my bro just had a wardrobe disaster.. heh.. alot of his clothes are getting too baggy for him, and some too big.. lol.. he was clearing it out, and since, i am about his size, all of it, i had to try.. lol.. so.. i became like a fashion show, and walked about in all kinds of different clothing.. heh..

Well, got 1 new bermudas, 2 new jeans, 1 new pants, and 1 new shirt.. heh.. so happy now.. xD

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 5:11 AM,
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about

"Aye! Sea Turtles!
Name: Glenn Lee
DOB: 31.10.93
School: Chung Cheng Yishun
Location: Singapore
Address: Wouldn't you like to know! ...Stalker!