Aye, sea turtles!

Sekaii ni hito tsu dake no hana..

Guess i should save this phrase for someone else..

well.. each day still seems like a torture..

each day, knowing you will go out with him soon..
each day, waiting for replies that will never come..
each day, waiting for my questions to be answered..
each day, asking myself.. should i be doing this..

each day is like walking through hell over and over again.. it never seems to end.. walking throught the desert..

there is this story.. about a man stranded in the desert.. all his supplies was destroyed by a sandstorm.. all he had left was a miserable apple.. but he held on to it.. clinging onto the faith that, not all is lost.. He had lost all his supplies, but he still had an apple..

with that faith, he continued on.. even when the apple was rotten, and dried.. he still continued walking.. through the desert, with one thought in mind.. " I have not lost everything.. I still have hope.. I must make it out of the desert" He did not eat the apple.. when in the end, after torturous 2 days, he finally made it to a nomad's camp.. well.. with that, the story ended..

this story was told to me by my sec2 chinese teacher.. although he is no longer here, i still remember that he was the only teacher that thought that i could make it into higher chinese with his help.. well.. although he did not inspire me to work harder on chinese, i still remember him well..

This story.. relates to how i feel.. here is an analogy.. i am all alone, stranded in a desert, and everything gone.. all i found was a beautiful desert flower, which has the same place as the apple in the story..

so.. walking halfway, the flower turned into dust.. everything seems lost.. there is no more determination to be found in my heart and soul.. there is not a single scrap of hope left in my entire being.. i am.. empty..

well.. today, is chinese new year.. i am still on my shou sui.. which is to keep up all night, to wish our parents longevity.. so far, i and my neighbours planned to stay up, playing DOTA.. lolx.. cute idea huh? well.. 2 people with me.. now left 1.. coz the other have to off comp.. so sad..

wonder if she is awake.. guess she is sleeping bah.. this wednesday.. another time to be sian.. coz she wont reply my sms even after chinese new year holidays.. guess it is the end of the road.. what am i waiting for?

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 8:05 AM,
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