Aye, sea turtles!

Regrets

Everyone has regrets in their lives..

it may be smth they have done, smth they did not do, and there are many possibilities.. regrets can be found when decision is thought to be wrong.. there is when, regret shows its ugly butt..

i have many regrets.. i regret doing many things before in my life.. my biggest regret is being born into this world.. well.. it cant be a regret for me.. coz its not a decision for me whether i should be born.. then.. people like me will say, I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN..

well.. i used to have those kind of thinking.. whenever i regret doing anything, i never try to keep thinking about it, and i have never liked the feeling..

i regret.. making rash decisions.. especially when i was sec1, where i could make my own choice.. i regarded it as nth.. it will not affect my life much.. thats what i always thought.. well.. i now realised, i made the wrong decision.. joining this corp has brought little joy to my life..

although each time i do smth wrong, it is those few shreds of happiness i had that i used to cheer me up.. a smile or laughter from me is easy to get.. but i do not like being angry.. it makes me angry at myself for being angry..

i like to keep everything that i have hated deep inside, where i cast far away, and hard to tap..

but today, like last year, when cca orientation comes near.. people would say.. i regret joining this cca, if i have another chance, i will join (this or that).. well.. once they say that, i oso feel like saying the same thing..

this is the time when i feel most vulnerable about what i have experienced, and all the questions that i rather not answer long ago, come back up fresh in my mind, like cookies just cooked in the oven.. well.. thats a great time for people to pick on me successfully, even if its unintentional.. well.. too bad.. u chose the wrong time to do it..

this time, i will not just cast it aside.. i will keep in mind, what i have given up for all this..

i will remember..

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 4:38 AM,
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