Aye, sea turtles!

Why?

why.. why.. must i have done it?? WHY!! now i cannot do it anymore..

inverted a turtle at 5:45 PM,
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Chance

Well.. it has been about five days since i lasat posted, and it seems like forever since i made contact.. i do not know.. what must i do? should i give myself a chance once again? should i let myself think that, i can be myself once again? always thinking that whatever i do, it does not have any consequences? can i go back to my usual self?

i just took 20mins thinking..

ooh.. another 10mins..

haha.. nothing going through my brain.. damn it..

i seriously blanking out alot...

hate this crap..

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 7:50 AM,
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Impwerfwect..

I know that i can be very irritating, sometimes, or maybe all the time, yea.. i realised this a very long time ago.. but i onli know that i disturb people only when i am feeling happy.. so.. if people dun like it when i am feeling happy, i really do not know how to feel.. maybe i can start being those people that are extreme introverts, do not talk to people.. always keep quiet in class one.. then like this i will disturb less people.. and less people will be angry with me over such things..

maybe i should find something more important to do, instead of going all over the place, talking crap, trying to mess people's minds up, and playing with my words.. at this rate, i will become a boring boy that can onli think of doing something that he thinks is important and that important thing is not homework.. thats for sure..

so far, onli she does not mind me disturbing her.. lol.. she can even reply my sms in the middle of the night for some reason.. well.. maybe that is why i cannot get her out of my freaking thing in between my ears..

i have to break the habit.. stop thinking about having fun.. do something important..
i have to stop looking for people to talk to on msn.. for i have even deleted her contact.. so i oso dunno if she is online anymore.. i dun want to add her back for now.. i feel so horrible right now..

well.. Daryl told me something that i also know about long ago.. at least he had the heart to remind me.. yea.. i draw too much attention to myself.. in everything i do, i am an attention seeker.. i need attention to survive.. or maybe not..

well.. i have to change how i talk next time..

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 4:16 AM,
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oooh.. many things to do..

Many things to do from next week..

Monday, Bio project meeting..
Tuesday, Possible TPYCC Taek outing, Collect books, Collect Run Inspirator Pack!
Wednesday: Collect run inspirator pack if i cannot make it on tuesday
Thursday: Taekwondo, Marathon Training!
Friday: NP!!

i am not including the rest..

sian.. jia zhi say i bully her.. sian diao..
why is it that every moment that passes by is just so difficult and hard?
Why is it that we have to be perfect for everyone else but ourselves?
Why is it that i cannot seem to get her out of my mind?
Why is it that during taekwondo, i cannot seem to get my mind off her?
Why is it that during marathon trainings, i cannot stop thinking about her?
Why is it that when i am sad, i think about her?
Why is it that when i am happy i think about her?
Why is it that i hate her so much, and i cannot stop thinking about her?
Why is it that people are reading my blog and having wrong thoughts?
Why is it that i hate myself so much for having these thought?
Why is it that i start all my questions with, "Why is it that "?
Why is it that i am starting to feel bored typing this crap?
Why is it that i am going to stop typing?
Why is it that i do not wish to continue typing?
Why is it that i do not wish to think about anything anymore?
Why is it that i have to ASK SO MANY FREAKING QUESTION!!!

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 6:45 AM,
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Not in the best of mood this morning.. got angry at jia zhi over nth.. lol.. think she now very angry with me.. sian.. i hate it when people say i like this girl or that girl.. it makes me unhappy.. for some reasons, i dun like people disturbing me over how i feel over certain girls.. not very nice feeling.. especially what kah hwee and jiazhi is doing over my tagboard and msn..

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 1:32 AM,
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WHY!!!

tags replied here..
Amanda: Orh...
Jia Zhi: OMG.. i know who u like lerh! K.H H..E xD
Lynette: I will not bear the grudge for so long derh.. although u almost make me want to scold ur squad for the whole night, i am not angry over it liao.. so.. apology accepted xD

Back to posting..
Why can't i forget things that i do not want to remember! why.. why is it always so irritating to remember things that makes me feel like hating myself even more..

i hate homework! i hate it! aaaargh.. so much homework..

why must people be so largy messed up.. and everytime i tell them to do things, they drag for a few days, and throw it back at me when i am busy??

Examples..
Yesterday morning.. got someone to make the Timetable for the next activity.. i rush abit.. then the person say.. Sorry hor.. I dun want to sacrifice my time for this.. U want to sacrifice ur time, then too bad..

Was kinda frustrated that the person expected me to help her do most of the job before she could finish it.. would'nt that be moonlighting? get others to do most of the dirty work like finding all over, begging people to give me the timetable template?.. maybe not begging.. but still asking all over the place.. then the person just have to fill in the timeslots and send it to the one in-charge.. and gets all the credit!..

2nd example..
Last night.. got this bugger send me this message..

Hey can u try to do the bio project? coz i have library duty this whole week.. and saturday not free.. left sunday..

and i replied him..
that is not a good excuse.. Library shelving is voluntary.. can cancel one..and i told u much earlier than this..

Well.. obviously, i told the person about thinking about the topic before i even went to camp.. which is like.. last wednesday or thursday.. pls dun tell me he did not have enough time even for that.. volunteer service in library is not compulsory.. the bugger i think is want to spend time with the girl he like lorh.. he go psycho the girl to go do oso.. then.. dun do the job that i assigned him..

I hate all this crap.. everyone tells me they are not free.. everyone complains to me when i give them jobs to do.. no one bothers about how i feel about getting all the crap thrown back at me..

I told this jackass online.. hey inform our squadmates that this friday have training..

well.. he came up with a stupid excuse..

HUUUUUH!!! i going out leh.. u tell them larh.. (and he signs out)

WTF!!!... basketcases!.. this is the crap everyone gives me.. i assign work.. and they disregard my words.. no one ever takes me seriously.. and worse still is the jackass.. when i am in-charge of the campfire during camp, i told him to get something.. he told me to get it myself.. as if he was of higher authority than me.. i am not angry about who has the higher authority.. is the problem that.. he threw my job to him, back at me..

I HATE ALL THIS SHIT!! AAAARGH!

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 4:34 PM,
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Training camp

well yesterday was the last day of the sec1 annual training camp.. xD i shall post everything i remember..

1st day..
All sec3 full of energy.. i was flag bearer.. they make me stand so long before parade start.. i had to include a baton onto my full-u coz i will be taking footdrill along with the drill team due o the lack of manpower,although i am from the recreation team.. the sec1n2 all oso take baton.. haha.. they look so cute with it..

had drills while my department was cooking lunch.. well it was horrible as we had to eat ration.. and the maggi mee was soggy.. disgusted.. drills again.. dinner better but still not nice.. our overall, was going mad on his creations.. Eggs with Tuna, Eggs with baked beans, and eggs with some char.. sian... was so disgusted looking at it at the start..

Then had campfire preparation.. the sec1 n 2s all dunno how to make their own cheers.. very disappointed had to help them with most of it.. but the other sec3s teach them alot of nonsense that almost got me into trouble.. supper and debrief.. supper was green bean soup.. but the green bean never open at all.. so just give the soup.. still ok.. night debrief for sec3s.. got alot of things to settle due to problems that our teacher officers saw.. everyone about to go to sleep lerh.. 3.30am ended.. go shower and sleep.. 4.30am FIRE DRILL.. AAAARGH!.. cannot remember what happened.. but CIs said that i was first to wake up.. then i go push about some cadets to wake them up.. for some reasons, my eyes and mouth were not opening.. no energy to open.. xD then when the whistle stopped ringing, i suddenly went to sit.. then blow again, then i go out..

wth.. we broke the record of the longest fire drill.. 20min+ WAAAAAAAAAAAH!! very sad..

2nd day.. straight after fire drill.. lol.. so in total, slept roughly 1hour.. had morning PT.. very shag.. cannot do pumping coz my hand kenna blister from punishment for our extremely slow reaction to the fire drill..

Then, wei qin made this comment.. Being fit, and lack of sleep is one big difference.. which i strongly agree.. lol.. after breakfast, drills again.. lunch, drills again.. then went to learn flagstaff.. Endurance run.. The in-charge say was about 8km.. but when the run finished, it felt like onli 3km to me even though i was very tired.. then CI Andrew took over.. also known as the PT Machine, he lived up to his name by making most of the cadets fall out.. Good thing that i did not xD

Campfire preparation was kinda bad.. Campfire, worse.. was very disappointed with the sec2s.. almost lose my restrain on them.. never felt like doing that.. but what they did almost got me into big trouble.. but thanks to the CIs, they saved me alot.. i am really glad that they did.. during the debrief, continued talking about our mistakes..

When i looked into my squadmates faces, all i can see are pale white faces.. and black eyes.. Camp coordinator almost losing it.. slept earlier.. 2.30 ended.. then 3.30 fire drill.. wth.. but lucky that was my timeslot for Sentry duty.. so i got off scot free from the punishment xD..

3rd day..
so in total, after the sentry duty, slept 30mins.. so during the whole camp, slept for 2hour 30min.. was shagged! well.. nothing much to say for the last half day..

good job to the sec1 n 2 best squad cadet.. Amanda, and Jian wen..
Sec3 best squad cadet was quite a surprise.. never thought that person would get it.. he must have been doing something that even I do not know..

the sec1 n 2 best cadet so good.. can get toblerone.. i never get mine.. they give me more maggi mee to bring home then have..lol..

End of CAMP!!

Well.. dun want to talk about camp lerh.. long post huh? well still have more..

I always had something as a restrain.. and my emotions is the strongest one.. i really want to get rid of this.. i have removed all her contacts.. i made myself hate her.. i broke my promise to her to message her straight after my camp.. i hope that i can finally feel free from restrains..

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 4:42 PM,
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Saded..

Tomorrow training camp.. gonna be very stressed..

Found out something that is very saddening to me.. sadded.. aaaaaargh!

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 4:21 AM,
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Yay!

This is the first time i won any competition online.. WOOTS!! i won this competition of the runspirator or smth for the Standard Chartered marathon.. Things included..

Yellow adidas running singlet which has my winning inspirational motto, "Life is like a marathon, never stop running" and a yellow adidas split shorts, AND! a adizero neon yellow running shoe!!! With 200 others, including some famous people whose names i cannot remember, will be running as yellow running spots among those wearing blue xD

the total cost of those things is about $316! i am so happy xD haha.. cannot wait to collect the prize.. now i will have 2 adidas running shoe lerh

so i can finally alternate properly within my runs.. instead of running with my adidas original which actually is very uncomfortable to run in.. xD

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 4:48 AM,
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Train!

Today is the first day that i will start my training.. my personal one.. hopefully i dun overstrain myself for the camp..

Training camp coming! gonna miss all my good buddies at TPYCC.. sad..

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 5:00 PM,
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When there is happiness, there will always be sadness

Everytime, u acquire happiness, sadness will follow through with it..

it is similar to light and shadow.. when there is light, there will be shadow.. but when there is no light, all u can see is darkness..

so, whenever u feel sad, all u can see is sadness and there is seldom glimmers of hope loitering about.. this glimmers of hopes can only be brought to you by people called, friends and family.. they are the only ones that can give u strength to continue through in life..

when u are sad, friends are there to help. when you are happy, everyone is there with u with wide grins on their faces..

but sometimes, these wide grins are only a mask.. this mask of deceit is difficult to see through..

never give up hope.. no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless it seems to be, there is no such thing as a hopeless case..

hopeless is only a word, a word without meaning..

everyone has hope.. no matter how big or small it is.. but it can only be lost.. if it is given up..

When you are sad, do not fret.. When you are happy, keep it in ur heart forever.. and never let it go..

forget all your sad memories, forget all the pain that u have suffered, remove all the scars of tears that you have endured..

a broken mirror can never become the same again.. but as long as it is fixed, it can still be used.. although the reflection will never be the same perfect one, life is never a perfect picture for anyone.. so.. compromise with what you have..

love the ones around you.. throw away all the hate in your heart, and keep holding on to whatever is dear to you..

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 2:40 AM,
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Singapore Healthy Lifestyle..

today is the last day of the EZP, extended programme! woot! finally over.. but next tuesday have physics practical exam.. sian..

was letting myself go wild during NP today.. then suddenly Mr see told the sec3 squad to go to this singapore healthy lifestyle thingy..

Long bus trip there, go there get this shirt.. no M size.. sad.. so get a S size.. very small.. but nice fit.. did not know i can fit into S.. go there walk about.. then want go eat dinner lerh.. so.. went into suntec, city link, rafflesplace walk about for 1h then finally reached Food Republic..

My shoulder very pain.. carry uniform about not light sia.. the food there very expensive.. first time trying brown rice.. very filling.. feel kinda full after that.. haha.. walk all over the place, went into Pan Pacific Hotel..

walk all over the place then finally take an extremely long bus ride home.. very LONG!! and the others all very noisy.. lucky i am in the mood to sleep.. xD

Finally home sia.. FINALLY!

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 6:09 AM,
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REVIVE!!

finally feel like reviving this blog.. lol..

Extended programme is finally coming to an end.. and i have many things instored for me..

2 star kayaking, EOY training camp and many many more xD..

well.. very short post.. just for fun derh

deadguy

inverted a turtle at 4:37 AM,
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about

"Aye! Sea Turtles!
Name: Glenn Lee
DOB: 31.10.93
School: Chung Cheng Yishun
Location: Singapore
Address: Wouldn't you like to know! ...Stalker!